I’ve only lived here in Honolulu for about two months now and I’ve made a few casual acquaintances, but no true buddies, pals, or best friends. This isn’t meant to be a post to gain your sympathy… far from it, but I am wondering how you’ve dealt with this situation.
You’re obviously reading a personal finance blog in which I, Ryan, am living frugal and below my means. Believe it not, this is not average behavior for a young twenty something – surprising, right? The trouble is there are lots of people who I could be friends with my own age around town, but who wouldn’t agree with my lifestyle choices. So what’s a frugal guy who’d prefer a book to a beer and free to flashy supposed to do?
How People Normally Make Friends
People make friends in a ton of different ways, but it’s usually through other friends or a shared interest of some kind. Most of my best friends back home are either members of a previous fraternity in college (please hold the comments) or from playing sports in high school.
My best friends are ones I have a common interest with, such as hobbies. I couldn’t handle a friend who constantly wants to go shopping, talk about the latest celebrity gossip, and their sweet new car… it’s just not my style… if I had style of course.
With that said, my lifestyle mostly entails career, fitness, outdoor activities, this blog, and frugal living. I simply haven’t met people who are similar in interests and have a frugal mentality. It’s been a tad frustrating and I’m sure Fabulously Broke can relate.
An Example from Yesterday
Yesterday I met a guy at the gym (sounds a bit risky, but it’s not) and we ended up going to the beach after the morning workout. We met up with some of his friends and hung out all day. After throwing the fribee around, enjoying the sun, and doing some swimming we headed over to one of his buddies apartments.
His buddy is in the coast guard and gets a housing allowance of $1,600 a month. As a result, he had an apartment that costs, you guessed it, $1,600 a month. He had an amazing 1 bedroom on the 15th floor of a tower in the heart of Waikiki. He also had surround sound, a brand new plasma, leather couches, and surf boards galore, not to mention the brand new Toyota Tundra he picked us up in. Reminding myself that this was a normal bachelor pad and I lived in the equivalent of a modern museum, I grabbed a beer and hung out with them for the rest of the evening without a hitch.
As I shot the breeze with the guys though, I knew that they wouldn’t understand how I chose to live my life. They were simply thinking about the next girl they wanted to bang or who’d win the next MMA pay per view. Honestly, I wished I could be those guys, but I was not and never will be able to do so. I’d rather read an article in the Economist, go for a walk, have a meaningful conversation, or go for a scuba dive. So I began to wonder… are frugalists weird? Am I a stranger in a strange land?
How do you find frugal friends?
What do frugal people do? You’re probably not going to find a frugal person at a nightclub, paying $10 for a drink. You’ll also probably not see them at a book store since library is a much cheaper alternative. Unless you’ve got a Freement mindset in which you like new things and test them out for a while. I’m guilty of this and spend hours at Barnes and Noble without actually buying anything.
Anyways, this is something I have yet to do well… that is find frugal friends. If they’re like me they’re probably at work, the gym, doing outdoor activities, or writing in their apartment. If that’s the case, maybe I’ll just have to meet more guys at the gym! Otherwise I’m not sure the best route would be to find someone in my city who has a similar mindset.
I’m interested to hear your stories about being frugal and meeting like minded people.
How did you meet your fellow frugal friends and what advice do you have for someone also looking to meet fellow frugalists?