Are your friends about as well off as you? Are they more poor or more rich? Does this interfere with your friendship? At this point, I’m about equal with my friends, maybe actually more on the poor side because of my choices, but I can’t help but shake the thought that “You are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with” Does that mean if I hang out with 5 millionaires all day, I will also become a millionaire? If your friends get significantly richer or significantly poorer than you, will you still be best friends forever?
Whether you agree or disagree, it may be interesting to consider your friends and family in relation to money. Obviously there are a lot of different styles of relationships and we can’t generalize about human interaction and psychology in a blog post, but we can still ponder it and share our experiences.
In a way this reminds me of the housing market. As a Realtor it was common knowledge that if you built a house, you didn’t want to be the most expensive one on the street because it had a negative affect on the value of your home. However if you were on the lower end of the neighborhood it would positively increase your value since there was a tendency to gravitate to the mean. So does the same thing happen with your friends?
Being Friends with Someone Much Richer Than You
They drive a mercedes, have a 10,000 sq ft house, and take vacations to the Carribbean every 2 months. You drive a 6 year old kia, rent an apartment, and take a road trip to the next state over maybe once a year. Could you be friends? I think they made a movie about this… Envy…
The problem I see with this type of relationship is envy, jealousy, and an inability to relate to each other since you have different experiences. Maybe this just cultivates a completely different type of relationship where you’re friends based around a certain activitiy, but when the friend starts talking about the Carribbean… you won’t be able to relate. Friendships are largely based around how other people make you feel, so if your rich friend rubs in that he/she is rich, it’s likely to be a short lived friendship. However if it isn’t brought up much and you participate in activities that are similar without having a feeling that you’re missing out, it probably wouldn’t hurt the friendship.
Being Friends with Someone Much Poorer Than You
If you’re friends with someone much poorer than you who’s struggling, are you a bad friend if you don’t help them out? This might become a burden since your friend can’t do a lot of the things you want to do. Want to go kayaking in Colorado? Not going to happen if your friend is too poor to do it. I suppose it depends more on lifestyle associated with how you use your money more than it does with how much money you have. Kinda like the folks in the millionaire next door who lead simple lives that don’t require a lot of money, but in fact they were very wealthy.
Having poor friends will limit the hobbies and activities you participate in, but doesn’t remove their ability to be there for you and be a true friend. You may however, have to be okay with cooking in with them, maybe footing the bill, and limiting your hobbies.
Jerry’s Ryan’s Final Thoughts
All I know is that friends are usually people we can relate to and who we share experiences and memories with. They’re people who understand us and treat us with respect which then builds trust and a sense of inclusion. The thing I wonder though, is if money becomes so much of a part of who we are that we can no longer relate to people who are much richer or much poorer than ourselves because it directly affects our lifestyle… well at least for most of us.
In turn, maybe we stay in our current situation so we don’t have to suffer the burden of finding new friends based on the social inpact it has of either going up or down the money ladder. Maybe people purposely stay middle class to avoid jealousy and envy from the friendships they have that matter more to them than money. Maybe your bff’s are only people who are in the same financial bracket as you over the years.
What do you think? Do you have any friends who are significantly richer/poorer than you?
If so, does it affect your relationship with them? Does it bug you in any way?
Image from Elvire-r
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Wow Joseph- thats very impressive, I grew up from a childrens home in kenya and worked my arse off to pay for my flight to come to england and aquire new opportunities- when you have lived in poverty and seen your freinds die because their parents could not afford to buy medication or food or their house was washed down by the terentialas rain you start to anaylise your future and the possibility that you could be next, the drive and survival instinct keeks in and all you think about is what you can do to make the best out yourself and to give back to this beautiful planet- the thing is I am now an ambassodor for the childrens home I used to live in, over the years i worked my hardest paid for college, got married and had my kids- at the age of 35 i feel as though i have accomplished alot- now faced with new resposibilities i was at home most days looking after my children- when I was growing up my freinds in kenya were true to me, we never compared or talked about money, houses freinship was based just chilling out playing sports outside, and laughing alot despite the poverty- I now live in the UK a small village which i adore- the problem is I am still grounded with my routes-I am very charming, loyal, attractive and very freindly person am always smiling even when things are tough- I tottaly get what joseph was trying to say about being embarrasssed taking freinds his house- I am now caught in the middle- sorrounded by rich freinds who pretend not to be rich and cant be themselves around me-and poor freinds who i left behind as a result of working my way up! in all honesty I have not changed who I am- sky is the limit for me and I believe if they are your true freinds it shouldnt be based on money-jealousy stems from the person- it reflects on whats important to them so in some ways its good because hopefully that will inspire them to get what you have- when I visit freinds who are multimillionaires in my neighbour hood I find ways where I can improve my life to be better and succesful-money for me is good because I can support my mum my brothers and sisters in kenya and the orphanage I grew up in, as well as enjoy the best things in life. so if you are poor- the only way you can make it is by finding something enjoy and having a real go at pursuing that as a career and if you are rich find ways to connect with yourself and be true to yourself despite the success you have accumulated-people will love you for you and will accept you for who you are and not your what you have accumulated. stop making excuses about your wealth- you are blessed.
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